Letting It Out: A Late-Night Talk with My Dear Diary

Writing has always been my go-to way of letting things out. It helps clear my mind and say things I couldn’t speak out loud, mainly because I’m not the best at talking, that’s for sure. But if there’s one thing I’m really good at, it’s overthinking. I think about the past, the present, and even stuff that hasn’t happened yet. I also wonder if things could have gone differently—sometimes better, sometimes worse.

It’s been months since I last wrote in my journal, and I wasn’t planning on doing it today either. I was in bed, way past my bedtime, just waiting to fall asleep. But sleep didn’t come. My mind had other plans.

Out of the blue, I started thinking about my time on the ship—sailing across the world with 17 people I’d never met before and probably would never see again. Yet, I remember every single one of them. I remember their names, their faces, and how I felt around them.

Each of them had their own stories, their dreams, and things they were committed to. Most of the time, we were either working or relaxing together. On the outside, everyone seemed happy, but deep down, I knew there was an emptiness inside all of us.

And let’s be honest, we’re not great at showing that side of ourselves, are we? We don’t like to be vulnerable because it makes us feel weak, and we don’t want to deal with those deep fears we carry in our hearts.

But my mind didn’t stop there. It kept digging, showing me the struggles I went through to get there, and the ones I faced while I was there. It reminded me of what I lost when I left that job and the things I’ll never experience again. It made me question my choices, wondering if I had made a huge mistake, and whether I truly know what I want or appreciate what I have.

Then, it hit me hard—realizing that I haven’t shared any of these thoughts with anyone, not even the people closest to me. It made me feel awful like I was hiding from my own feelings. But the truth is, every choice I’ve made was my own, with no pressure from anyone else. So if I’m feeling sad or unsure, it’s on me.

But then, I remembered something my mind had forgotten. I do have someone I can always share everything with, without fear of being judged—you, my dear diary. You’ve always been there, my silent friend and loyal companion. Because of you, I don’t have to carry all this by myself.

Just writing it down lightens the load my overthinking brain puts on my heart. Thank you for being there when I need it most.

- Reshu Kr.

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Reshu Kumar

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